Fortunately he missed Dee’s nuts

Ted Pretty? More like Theodore Presentable, at best.

Other than a spot on the 40-man, $500,000, a $40,000 pension (if he stays on the roster for 43 days), full medical benefits...

Neighbors.

I mean, it was the engineers driving it, so they kinda did build it themselves.

And babies absolutely can, and do, tell any sympathetic ear exactly how much pain their are in. They scream.

Jeb Bush: Please clap.

No couple REALLY cues up an episode of Real Sex to get in the mood.

They’re also planning to work with a spectral imaging team to see if they can read some of the text that was scraped away at the top of the document.

To be fair, it was a very stupid question. Do you really think Donald Trump watches hockey after what happened to his favorite team 37 years ago?

the market has spoken. It said “fuck United and all their bullshit”

sorry

They’re getting the fuck out of the dugout since apparently that’s where the jackass is aiming with the bat flip.

“These people have awful names.”

I guess to understand it you’d have to look at what happens with Democrats actually in power vs. their stated platform.

I know it’s kinda specific, but Apocalypse Sow would have been the better name.

“Jam Time!” and “Airplane Mode!” are extremely bad dunk catch phrases

I swear you guys rip on me thirteen or fourteen more times, and I’m out of here.

I’d start with when you get punched in the face and they fall down.

Take another look. That wallet is 85% receipts and coupons.