You obviously heard that on WKRP.

+1 Sports

Hue Jackson has a good shot of picking up in Cincinnati where he left off.

Ah, yes, “The Good Guy with a Gun" plan. Otherwise known as the "Everything's Fine As Long As Casualties Are Kept To An Acceptable Level" plan.

Alternately, nobody remembers it because there’s a mass shooting every fucking week.

“Where in the rule book does it say that a dog cannot be Sportsperson of the Year?”

It’s also a DOGSO, so that’s a red card. 

Pup Guard-a-gola.

“Hand of Dog” as it’s known in Argentina

He’s on loan from Newell’s Good Boys.

That joke was a low flying airplane, wasn’t it?

INSTEAD WE WILL SPEND OUR AUTUMN SUNDAYS IN OBLIVIOUS JOY SIPPING SPICED PEAR GIN FIZZES WATCHING PEDRO ALMODOVAR MOVIES

You forgot to include the obviously better alternative for a seventh(!) tiebreaker that makes this option so extremely stupid.

Because they are homophonic assholes who throw bags of piss at us.

It’s okay, Billy writes poorly and is bad at sarcasm. You’re excused for not being able to parse it out. 

Billy: “MLS stinks! That’s why we didn’t qualify.”

Putting Yankees - Red Sox in the same universe as USA - Mexico is silly...just not for the reason Billy thinks.

THANK YOU. Came here to respond the same. Our two national teams might not be as good as Brazil vs Argentina, but the hatred is absolutely there. Even a momentary googling of fan behavior at Azteca would make this perfectly clear. Bags of urine, protective barriers, closed coliseum sections, requiring extra f-ing…

Right? THEY ARE THE GATEKEEPERS TO THE CONCACAF! Quite honestly pretending it’s not a major rivalry just because the US decided to play with its dick this qualifying season doesn’t make it any less true.

When the train ride is over, the crew applaud and congratulate you for reasons you will never understand.