BS: Lena, before we talk about that scene where Alison Williams is getting her ass motorboated in the kitchen, do you think the Celtics got enough for Jeff Green?

Yup, one quote from a German player with no knowledge of either league he mentioned certainly sums it all up. Definitely not an incredibly lazy pot shot passed off as an informative or interesting post.

As lead counsel for Mr. Winston, I hereby order you to CEASE and DESIST from any further baseless claims that my client, Mr. Winston, has ever fingerpoked anyone without their express consent. The Tallahassee Police Department found NO wrongdoing whatsoever. Please remove this post immediately.

HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?

So in this analogy is Jameis's fumble the Fingerpoke of Doom?

It was bad enough seeing the usual dumb shits in the mix, but even sharper minds like Tim Kawakami in there clinging to the BCS was pretty sad. I'd like to see someone from that list step up and argue how this was lesser than what would have been a BCS-determined Alabama (aka the SEC auto bid) and Florida State (with…

GTA in Houston, however, is a great idea.

Everyone knows the Pacino speech? DAMN RIGHT WE DO!

It would make sense if this game were being played in Baltimora

Performing the National Anthem before EVERY SINGLE SPORTING EVENT. Most people don't know the words — especially the singers — and it's hard to sing. Let's just play the damn game. And maybe this way "American Idol" and its ilk will just fade into oblivion because there's nowhere else for the losers to perform.

You are correct.

Oh fuck please no. Make it the Detroit butt-eaters or something, anything else.

The next sports movie Will Ferrell needs to make is one where he's a coach of a major league team who's main rival is Jason Sudekis' coach character from those NBC Premier League spots.

"Hands Up, Don't Shoot" is this season's ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

YES. What's the point of having one of these things if nobody knows how much it cost and where it came from (I could have said "its provenance", but I felt that might place me squarely in the W-S demographic according to their data-mining spies and then I'd get ads for this crap ALL THE DAYS)? If they did print…

Seriously, everything from the jizzy looking alfredo to the breadsticks with everything sounds exactly like Fazoli's.

Yeah, it's definitely Fazoli's. Their breadsticks are effing delicious, too.

Definitely Fazoli's. I was trying to suss it out and when he described the "poor, hollow-eyed teenager...wishing you death" it was like the light came on. That Dave can definitely paint a picture.

It has to be. And now I want Fazoli's breadsticks because I have no soul.

The last one HAS to be a Fazoli's. HAS to, right?