Don’t forget the Female Zidane, Louisa Necib.

To replace him, the Marlins will have to choose between The Falcon and The Snowman.

Not that I’m complaining - I’ll probably add some money to that pile to go watch a game in Phoenix or Houston this summer.

$$$$$$

I’m not sure if Cyborg started cutting weight as soon as the fight was over, or if she went ahead after it went into the third minute.

That’s Ken M.

Uh, no, they don’t:

Cecily Strong as Rachel Maddow is very underrated.

Rick Jeanneret is Hockey’s Andres Cantor.

Yes, Ma’am.

Other teams in MLS don’t pick capos. You may be “pretty sure” but I have several friends who are capos and not approved - much less paid for - by the club. Clubs and SGs are famous for being constantly fighting over chants and conduct.

But it doesn’t come at the direction of the team. It’s coordinated, but by the group itself. SGs pick the capos, write/rewrite/adapt the songs, the capos lead. You might be able to get 25 people around you to join in with a random chant you come up with, but if you want to get that awesome-sounding stadium wide…

Seattle probably does pay - they have their guy(s) rigged up with microphones. But I’ve also stood with supporters in Colorado, L.A., Columbus, Houston, Chicago, Dallas, D.C., Tulsa and Oklahoma City, and I’m personal friends of the capos at several of them: they’re volunteer positions offered to the members of the…

I think we all know at what site these talented and newly-available writers should land: Clownfister

Count our blessings that there are no “Sexy Peanuts” costumes available oh God they’re working on them right now aren’t they?

Showing nothing but the misses out of 22 kicks taken. This is the Deadspin equivalent of Jay Leno’s stupid Jaywalking bit.

If I wanted to watch a game like a normal American, I’d be a fucking baseball fan. I go to soccer games partially because it’s the only sport where fans stand and cheer of their own accord and not when the Jumbotron tells them to.

You’re a hero.

After reading this article, Rex Grossman is no longer satisfied with the nickname “Sex Cannon.”

I’m sure the soccer and the fields in the NASL would be far, far better. Right, Billy?