"Thiago Silva is suspended? How could this happen! We have a PPV tomorrow night!"

"Calm down, Dana - It's not one of the four Thiagos or nine Silvas fighting for us."

I tried to embrace a fun-loving Colombian once, but Shakira slapped me.

The VW ads are dumb, esp. the "goooooool!" one - straight out of 1994; That's not an ESPN cartoon, it's produced by FIFA and runs in all the countries showing the game (think of "THE CHAM-PIIOOOONS!" after every commercial break during Champions League games).

^This. American Pro/Rel is lots of fun to program into Football Manager, but asking a MLS expansion team to pony up nine figures for a team and then threaten them with playing Ft. Lauderdale or Harrisburg after an inaugural season is mad. And with parity and salary caps, it could happen to any team in any year.

In…

No. 8: Those aren't European terms, they're soccer terms. A morning hockey practice is a morning skate, not a "Skatearound", as former NBA exec Gary Bettman called it on his first day as NHL Commish. GK is shorthand for Goalkeeper. It's not hipster of me to teach you the lingo.

No. 9: If you shrink the field in…

IronMikeGallego - Tonight's WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD

MUSLINS TAKIN OVER I KNEW THAT SOCCER WAS A UNAMERICAN SPORT THIS JUST PROVES IT OBAMA IS USIN TEH WORLD SOCCER CUP TO DISTRACH US FROM BENGAZI AND TAJE ARE GUNS AND ARE FREEDOM I NEVER TRUST THESE MUSLINS ANNE COLTER WAS RIGHT SOCCER PLAYERS ARE CAUSIN ARE MORAL DECAYE AND NOW SPREADIN ISLAM I WISH I KNEW WHY OBAMA…

We're SUCCESSFULLY funny on purpose.

We're actually funny on purpose

I!

+1 Sinestro's Ring

Why do people make such a fuss over the "We lost, but we still moved on?" thing? Every NFL season has a team or two that made the playoffs while losing their last regular season game, because the team behind them also lost. That's pretty much what happened here.

I remember just a few years ago PPV cards were events. I'd go with friends and/or family (my 63-year-old Mom became a big fan). Always a title fight, with some hype to it, and the undercard had grudge matches and/or no. 1 contender shots.

Now it's full of Has Beens, Never Weres and Who The Fuck Are Theys. Injuries…

And if you didn't you are anti-American and hate Freedom.

Grierson and Leitch give it a B-

The reason that PBM&M > Reese's Pieces is because the former actually has chocolate AND peanut butter.

The Haisley Rule: Anything in soccer involving the US is bad.

And Morrisey.

If you want a great authentic Brazilian song, here you go:

YES. There must be a Hawk Harrelson out there.