Look no further for pork dishes and fine champagne: https://screen.yahoo.com/hamm-buble-000…

I CAN'T HEAR YOU THROUGH THE SOUND OF ME GOBBLING DOWN ALL THESE NOTHING BURGERS.

I bet some players' wives and girlfriends would appreciate those pink mouthguards.

The Vikings announce that Adrian Peterson will return to team activities to spend less time with his family.

Have you heard of Jerry Jones?

I think they can do WAAAYYY better than this for True Detective Season 2.

+infinite bread sticks

Meanwhile, the Italian counterfeiters in the United States continue running a similar scam where "The Olive Garden" serves people repackaged human excrement and calls it food.

Manziel did apply for "Johnny Bench", but the patent office rejected him because he isn't very accurate at throwing a ball.

I dunno, that doesn't sound that bad to me. I'm pretty sure I would make fun of a boy wearing a P is for Playa shirt too.

Snoop Dogg on:

I think the cuter the animal is, the more delicious its meat will taste.

Armadillo skin would be the worst. Someone tried to sell me a belt made of it and I still get repulsed when I recall the feel and texture.

You have to remember to turn it to the right setting, though

Fried fish ahead of grilled fish? I swear to everything holy, I will hunt you down you son of a bitch. This list should be put in the electric chair.

Wow. Kids in college these days can be so sophomoric.

Bird: Don't get too close guys. I heard you can die from contact.

My niece drew a picture of her dog "playing" with the dog next door in school. And that's how the whole world found out that loveable family pet Otis really forcibly orally sodomized other animals in his free time.

Parents Night is dreadful. Last year I was singled out by a teacher in a room full of judgmental parents because my 3rd grader, for the "art show", drew a picture of a chicken giving a horse a hand-job. Seriously. I have the photo prove it if you provide me with an e-mail to send it. When I got home, I feared…

+15 in the clip and +1 in the hole