Sure, but since he's in Canada, his kicks only go 6 percent shorter the distances of his American counterparts.

I would've sworn it was titled, "300 Sandwiches."

Completely unbelievable. Would never happen.

Yeah, but it's a cooler trick when you don't block traffic by riding four-abreast at 25 miles an hour on a road whose speed limit is 45.

It's like he writes all the name articles for Gawker Media!

Or affluenza.

You trade three bags of rice for one bag of flour. Flour gets hurt and hates the coach.

Because dysentery.

With that many kids, you're bound to run out of real first names pretty quickly.

That Ashmore Standing's Twitter handle is "Smashmore69" pretty much makes her the female Gronk in the best ways possible.

Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Levine!

He must be a real lightweight - all the rap music I know of only refers to "one in the Chambers," and that's not nearly enough to get most people drunk.

The market has yet to develop on bruising, but I'm expecting in the end we'll see a 2-3 day deal, with an option for a fourth.

I think there needs to be a word for people who won't ask a celebrity for a picture with them, content to instead snap themselves with said celebrity in the background.

Of course it's not a real film. If it was, some studio exec would've called it, Actually 2: Lovelier.

Storytime with Mike Shanahan just got greenlighted by the History Channel.

Seven and doctor!

"Oversensitive?" Or does that just describe Jason Kidd?

In an alternate universe where the Rock doesn't become the global icon that he is, he has a successful run as tag champs in this tandem. And is now headlining in TNA.

Underrated post of the year.