My friend claims to have been 16 lbs at birth, but then grew up to be a 6ft2in 145 lb beanpole, almost like he was taunting his mother for what he put her through.

I'll be honest - when I read the column, I googled "September Wine & Spirits" to confirm that assumption on my part. It's a very valid point - almost like the Yankees are justified in paying large contracts because it's an arm and a leg and three more arms to feed a family of four on the UWS.

Not to go all Grocery Store Snob on you, but I can do the same quality for half the price at a Wegmans. Because Wegmans is God's gift to food shoppers and eaters.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT SHE HAS AN "A" FOR A MIDDLE INITIAL, AND CAN GO THROUGH LIFE THINKING THERE'S A SONG ABOUT HER!

My daughter's name isn't on the list either, but instead of being offended, I'm treating it as a more-hipster-than-the-hipsters situation.

Transcriber got it wrong. It was obviously a "fahk-up."

Do offer more details...

Can I blame McCarver and Buck? Because that's who I'd really like to blame.

My favorite college story involves our very masculine, foreign friend declaring his crush on the "chick from Hansen." We let it go on for a month before letting him in on the truth.

"Reader Danny"??? Surrrre...

Sorry, what??

Where's SHAVING CREAM PIE???

To think, someone in Chicago was taking a big dump years before Eddy Curry got there.

Gronk does not, unfortunately, shotgun a Natty Light.

I thought Nevada qualified under "all-you-can-eat buffet with $6 prime rib".

If Oreos are cocaine, then cheesy poofs are heroin, and I WILL SPEEDBALL THEM ALL NIGHT LONG.

"Hey, I practically founded the Bleacher Report!"

Monday Night RAW was on tonight. Clearly establishing himself as a Paul Heyman Guy by declaring, "RYBACK RULES."

Well, who do you think took this picture??

THIS. Rhode Island, too.