The History channel is guns (Top Shot) and aliens (everything else).

I wish cell phones with video cameras existed when I had my wisdom teeth out. According to my dad, when we went to CVS to pick up my painkillers, he lost track of me, only to find me in the magazine section doing running commentary of a home-and-garden magazine.

Special guest instructor: Charles Barkley.

"Oi! This is what it's like to be rich and disappointed!"

When do we find out who wins?

I watched a man shatter his clavicle (compound fracture) in a men's 30+ soccer league, and as the paramedics cut his shirt open, we all were afraid they would think his beyond-ample chest hair was a sweater and keep cutting.

A Tissue for Hand in Hand

Being a ginger in itself isn't funny. But there are funny gingers.

It's a joke.

Seems like those are pimples on its face. Perhaps a new interpretation of the team name.

The best thing about that era of GnR is that they thought ALL their singles had to be that long. November Rain gave way to Civil War, which gave way to Estranged. Axl clearly had some deep narratives running through his brain at the time...

Except everyone pretty much gushed over Frank Ocean's 9 minute+ opus, "Pyramids."

Meanwhile, Vegas was disappointed that the team didn't scurry to cover.

It actually looks like Pittman is playing the role of WWE referee, "aw, c'mon, you can't do that, now get to the back," while Battle mugs for the crowd.

Holy crap I'm an idiot. Fixed.

Glad there's a memo line. I always have a hard time remembering what people are paying me $40 million for.

Butter, onion, white pepper, flower, milk, beef stock, salt, and nutmeg. Delicious.

The only thing sadder is the tubs of that crap that they sell at CostCo.

This is yellow BBQ sauce. It's BBQ sauce that was sent to a special camp with other BBQ sauces, and told that God wanted it to be Chick-fil-A Sauce, even though it was clearly not a choice to be BBQ in the first place.

I think this list is solid, but rémoulade is highly underrated. We're talking a delightful combination of some of the top performers of this list - mayo, relish, etc., with the added spices of glory. It's the Voltron of condiments.