Grandpa? GRANDPA? Fuck you. He’s younger than me, and I’m no grandpa! Plus you young-ass shit, I knew who most of these people. Your life will be infinitely better if you goddam stop your age-centic bullshit.

“Hubby” = credibility beyond repair, recovery.

For example, I like to covet my neighbor’s ass.

I was sitting in a recliner, and I fell out of it while watching.

Tamara Judge is a bith and a wore.

The Countess says, “Be cool. Don’t be like uncool. Everybody loves pope francais.”

This story has no legs.

What the... How in the... where in the... What did I... Who made...

I don’t want to see the un-pixelated photographs. Period.

There must be dark matter. Must be. How else can you explain the impenetrable distance between my son and that lawn mower.

Sorry, Ram, didn’t see your comment first. Maybe you and I could show that lady what that side alley over there looks like. You bring her over and I’ll jump her, and we’ll both slap her.

SOMEONE PLEASE SLAP THAT BITCH.

Thath methed up.

Why “gently”?

Who?

Yeah, everybody knows that.

Thank you for that. I feel like I went on a trip.

I just finished a cigarette.

I bet he is an angry chewer.

Hard to prove, I suppose. Seems silly to erect a monument.