Martha Louise (at the top) has some skinny ass legs.

Plonk. That is the sound I also heard when I read that Vince Vaughn wanted to put guns in schools. It is the sound of falling, falling, falling and then meaninglessly hitting the ground of dead esteem.

Please add my “She is beautiful!” to the mix along with a few heartfelt well-wishes.

“The idea that progressivism leads a person to not take child molestation seriously is a deliberately blockheaded conclusion that I wouldn’t entertain except for the fact that, right now, it’s being widely resuscitated in the name of Josh Duggar, who we now know was once investigated by police for committing sexual…

Stephen Fry is my hero on many different levels.

Come again? You mean, it’s only hard for a period of time, then it’s not hard anymore?

Watching all that porn. I think it would be hard.

I just didn't want you to think that I did not care.

You’re a pain in the ass.

True dis: I pat the airplane on the outside as I pass thru the doorway, and I say to it, “Nice plane, nice plane.”

It ain’t true cause I don’t see no pictures.

I don’t know, but I would like to be “in congress” with him.

Cremate me immediately following my death. Really, is there any other way to do it?

I choose this guy.

if you say you are going to clean the f****** kitchen that includes wiping down the f****** counterstops. Dirty f****** countertops equals dirty f****** kitchen.

"Canyon of Misinterpreted Judgment was by far my least favorite Nancy Drew book."

Forget Lisa. I want to hear about Lisa's son-in-law who is married to BeFelda, or whomever. Hubba vander hubba.

This name-dropping shit made me vomit.

Yeah. God bless her little heart. Wait until that little sweet angel is in the 9th grade and he sneaks out his window at 2am to go bang his girlfriend. So adorable. Makes you wanna just POP.

Always wear a power tie to your rape trial. It always looks good and speaks well of you.