No matter how Emperor Cheeto tries to dress his ban up, he can’t escape the discriminatory nature of his intent. Well, maybe until he gets Gorsuch on the bench to do his bidding. 

I mean c’mon, haole wahine- it’s not that hard

The terrorists are just pouring in now.

The totally sincere and philosophically well-grounded conservative principle that local government is good when it means “states vs. fed” but bad when it means “cities vs. states”, endures. We should all be inspired by their commitment to this totally non-hypocritical point of view.

It’s true that everyone has been dreading Thanksgiving since 11/9, but just wait til the epic clusterfuck that New Year’s Eve turns into, with everyone realizing that despite how badly 2016 has sucked ass, you’re heading into the last golden days. Nevertheless, happy Thanksgiving, we’re all here, we’ve got footbaw and…

The “Chief Wahoo” logo isn’t as racist as we all thought. That deep red skin isn’t a visual racial slur - it’s because he’s choking.

Listen, America:

Perhaps they can release Nancy Reagan’s astrology logs as well.

There were 10 whole words in that tweet! You could hardly expect him to read ALL of them.

SEE

I think there’s an argument that Johnson was a bigger household name than Harrison

Exactly, nothing says togetherness like eternal suffering!

Better question: Will Andre Johnson remember Andre Johnson? Because of CTE, get it? GALLOWS HUMOR!

It was nice of Eric to bring along the canvas tarpaulins he usually reserves for rolling his victims in before driving them to a nice quiet spot in the country.

Because they are assholes.

What a bunch of assholes. They have lived a lifetime filled with perfect caricatures of how douchebaggy they are.

Donald J. Trump, Jr., sitting in his big boy chair

Ways to get a Vegemite infection.