Ever feel like you are not having as much fun as other people?

Conway’s yearbook photo.

I think this is the reason that shows do so much better than movies (I just made up that fact, I dunno) on streaming sites is that once you find a show you can both agree on, you watch every single episode. Then you maybe start over and do it again.

Long Island is filled with families like this: blue-collar nouveau riche. The groom’s father is a plumber-done-good story. Making threats like he’s a Mafia don is almost a requirement for living in some towns.

My kegel exercises have been paying off so I’m sure I could snap some off.

So are we a host when we have a penis inside us? Does that penis belong to us while we are hosting it? Can we do with it whatever we want? Just asking.

And I thought it was bad when my dad threatened to punch the priest at my rehearsal dinner. I now realize we were rank amateurs in the wedding fiasco game.

The Japanese PM gave him that awkward panic-laugh that I used to give my Irish mumbling father-in-law when he would say something to me before I could run off.

Final nail in the coffin of 45 ever being competent at anything. He was a business guy in the 80's he should know how to interact with Japanese nationals, he doesn’t so he has shit for brains.

I’ve said this dozens of times since the election and I’ll keep saying it:

Third rule in Latino families: leave your wife after she donates her organs to you.

Do the old gimmick of having Trump look in the mirror. Baldwin plays Trump; Rosie O’Donnell plays the reflection.

They should also be sentenced to a kick in the ass.

“None of them knew that it was a historic property. They all thought it was just this abandoned shed.”

She made $3 million for 48 seconds. Honestly, I’d let most people beat me up for less than a minute for that much money...but I also have very hefty student loans.

To me, Spicer reminds me of an insurance salesman who hates his life, his family and drinks morning, noon and night. Those constantly bloodshot, tired eyes of his could be the result of a zombie bite but I think it’s more likely alcohol.

Like in WWII.... love followed by air superiority and massive tank divisions.

This left me feeling gross. She’s a kid for fucks sake. She shouldn’t be saving her family from bankruptcy.