It’s early in the year. The coastal media will live off stories like this for a while until they transition to conference playoff reseeding and tanking stories.

Long range weather forecasts are small bit more reliable than Grandpappy's trick war knee at predicting weather, so take it with a grain of salt. 

They will keep your credit card number on file regardless for tracking purposes and to sell to data miners for spending profiles. 

Every country lives up to their reputation. In the UK the dog gets caught up in a Byzantine bureaucracy. In the US, the cops would just shoot the dog.

You were right in with the first sentence.

I would not have seen that pledge drive video if it weren’t for the airing of beef so actually good on Jordan for using family beef for a good cause.

Or you and the 1000 other people could just empty the one bag into the recycling bin and throw away the bag instead of having the waste management company hire a guy to cut open and empty 1000 bags of recycling.

Probably the most important thing is to make sure you start thawing it in time. A regular turkey takes a few days to thaw in the fridge or several hours to thaw in cold water if you’re late. Other than that, after rubbing some herbs and spices and butter on it, it basically takes care of itself in the oven.

Yeah, nothing at all oppressive and misogynistic going on with nuns and the Catholic church.

I hope it is something like this:

So is this just a TL;DR of the article, cause that’s basically what he said.

“Excuse me?”- Every place in Texas South of New Braunsfels.

Like this

I was actually joking about the disposable turkey.

I was actually joking about the disposable turkey. I've given up on stuffing the bird. Dressing in Pyrex gives me more crunch and I can add pan drippings to dressing casserole after cooking. 

How to make thanksgiving stuffing:

A camera on a space probe is a rather limited device. The human eye and brain can perceive and process images in ways no camera can. I think you can be confident that your eye will see something spectacular spectacularly. An incredible live sunset will look incredible. If you’ve ever seen the Grand Canyon in person,…

Actually he’s not protesting.  He just doesn't want to wear a damn poppy. 

Healthy humans won’t starve themselves. It is biologically hard wired into us. I’m Nigerian, and the Nigerian food my mom fed us...that I love... you’re picky eating child would never initially touch. Feed your kid what you think they should eat. If they won't eat it for dinner, don't worry they'll be hungry at…