Is there any other sport like American football where the fans and pundits feel like the players owe them something? And said fans/pundit industry feel they have a divine right to dictate behavioral standards to the players?

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

“Officers are advised to be on the lookout for a vehicle with Connecticut plates, 'Y-E-A-H J-E-E-P-S'"

“Unique circumstances”

Solid critique from a guy with [checks history] all of one comment.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

THE RAIDERS ARE COMING

Remember, technically correct is the best kind of correct.

Severino: [puts down #1 sign]

“After the O’s used nine actual, professional pitchers”

Really, you just need to look at his background to see where this stuff comes from:

The real story here is the depressing state of Vrabel’s broken marriage.

Australians: HAHA, Mate! “Rooted in Oakland” is like saying, “Fucked in Oakland!” Crickey!
Oaklanders: If we wanted to say that, we’d just say, “Raiders fan.”

This is turly inspiring!

You mock but I’m sure in 20 years some Silicon Valley Douchebag will be taking his kid to their first game, point up at Durant’s retired jersey and say “You see, Little Elon, that jersey belonged to Kevin Durant. An extremely online weirdo who played here for three years in the service of building a brand nobody cares…

Driving through a lot of small towns I think my favorite thing is probably:

I’m like that when people watch me try to throw stuff accurately. I have to ask the carnival workers not to look at me. Then I use the opportunity to steal a stuffed animal. It’s not for me. It’s for my girlfriend. You don’t know her. She goes to another Canada.

So all this time my wife has been trying to pass a drug test?

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

*Rex Ryans bursts in, wheezing*
Heard the...headline...need to...hear more.