Pretending Whitlock doesn’t exist is never a dick move

Is Whitlock able to stand for the national anthem?

#allseatsmatter

I wonder how many times FoxSports is going to buy Whitlock two seats before they stop letting him fly anywhere?

If we arm cops with tacos instead of guns they can deescalate tenuous situations. Fewer cops (directly) killing Americans is a win-win for almost everybody. I say almost because I’m sure white supremacists will hate it but, man, fuck those guys.

No. Tacos. Just tacos. With mandatory cheese.

Will the cop have tacos?

Real food truck:

Couldn’t be more wrong. Whataburger HAS TACOS breakfast tacos they call taquitos; they’re fucking amazing).

Seriously, Taco trucks on every corner is the “chicken in every pot” for 2016. If voting Hillary gets you that, we are looking a Reagan level landslide.

Don't you dare talk about Whataburger or its wrappers that way.

At what point will this pass far enough behind us that I can say I think his hair is stupid?

At least he threw it in a dumpster and not on the side of the road. That would bring a tear to anyone’s eyes.

[scribble notes furiously]

In the eyes of the NCAA: raping kids > paying kids

Any word on whether Sandusky will be furloughed to be a part of the festivities?

The ceremony will be held in the parking lot so everyone will have to look the other way.

If praise were the only thing they showered at Penn State, this wouldn’t be an issue.

America truly is a great country. The Deadspin staff’s new ambition is for Tomi Lahren to disembowel us.

She’s gonna make a great Facebook aunt someday.