Hey, I “call Dan Patrick” as much as any other guy, but giving it that euphemism has never gotten me out of trouble with the police when I do it behind the wheel.

Sports are meant to be silly and fun. If some guy who calls AAA games were doing the same thing, Deadspin would tag it under “Whimsy” and the guy would be a cult hero for a day or two around here.

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

I love swearing. A properly placed “fuck this fucking fuck” is so satisfying as an emotional release, I say it regularly as a way to avoid therapy.

I will admit though that there is something so heinously hilarious about non-expletive insults when you’re insulting another person, that sometimes it’s the superior move…

I must have been on the cusp of a cycle or a no-hitter during my entire baseball career as a kid because none of my teammates ever spoke to me.

His name’s not actually on the back of the jersey, that’s just a comic book sound effect.

This is Chris Thompson suddenly noticing the low fuel light on his DeadLettersmobile, and pulling into the nearest station.

From the album Asses to Asses.

Oh what I wouldn’t give for the late Sandman Sims to come out and take Delaney off the damn stage.

I’m surprised it’s got dust on it.

Why doesn’t he build the entire game out of that throw?

I’m really glad your political science degree is finally coming in handy.

You know, Boonie is on to something here. For as Rousseau said in his Discourse on Inequality, “In fact, the real source of all those differences, is that the savage lives within himself, whereas the citizen, constantly beside himself, knows only how to live in the opinion of others.” That is, in “the box” the batter…

That's all well and good, but will Khris Davis pick it up enough to hit .247 for the fifth year in a row? That's the real drama in baseball, not this playoff mumbo jumbo 

I can’t wait for the next segment of “Tinactin a Fool”

scab website

scab website

Please don’t cross the picket line. Boycott Amazon this Prime Day.

Please don’t cross the picket line. Boycott Amazon this Prime Day.

Quit scabbin Kinja

Quit scabbin Kinja

I mean, how was that not the default idea?

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you