NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Does the burger include the raging case of mud butt Jack’s usually comes with? I’m looking for an authentic experience here

Waffle House over IHOP? Are you insane or just from the south?

Just dab a little water on your toilet paper and stop being a dumb dickhead

Two months into 10+ year contracts is a great time to be making definitive assessments. You’re ready for the front office, or at least for your local AM sports talker.

Beto is dumb, but not so dumb as to think he could beat Cornyn.

That was textbook Mallex in Safe

$230? For a grey sweatshirt? I’ll call you a dumb tool and fart on you for half that, which is a relative bargain

$230? For a grey sweatshirt? I’ll call you a dumb tool and fart on you for half that, which is a relative bargain

Thing is, it sounds like you have the capacity to be at least as well-rounded, sophisticated and moral and I am, and also get exactly what you want out of your sports entertainment consumption, but you’re steadfastly committed to being boring and incurious, and demanding that nothing you dislike should be given an…

Encouraging Drake to make music is malpractice of the highest order. Shame on you.

Love being told to “just chill out” by someone who leads with “UHGGHHHGHGHHGG” and “For the love of God”

This article is cursed

You can pry my disgusting feet from my cold, dead hands! I mean it. I’m stuck. Send help

You can pry my disgusting feet from my cold, dead hands! I mean it. I’m stuck. Send help

Some of the most important sports stories ever are important because of their intersection with politics. How do you tell a politics-free version of the story of Jackie Robinson, or the Munich Olympics?

Highly Questionable is lo-cal dumb fun. We DVR it.

Bank: CARD DECLINED — INSUFFICIENT FUNDS, FATASS

Bank: CARD DECLINED — INSUFFICIENT FUNDS, FATASS

I just fixed my favorite old hoodie that I’ve been holding on to for years because I didn’t have the heart to throw it away. Thank you so much for this!

Infinite Tucker is known to check into hotels as Buffalo Bill

“I think everyone knows we’re ... this,” he said. “There shouldn’t be a person in this building[.]”