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That’s not how elections work in California. There aren’t party primaries anymore. It’s a free-for-all primary and then the top two finishers go head to head in the general.

The only correct answer is “because you’re 7

The only correct answer is “because you’re 7

YOU WILL NOT SAVE THE PLANET BY BUYING SHIT

YOU WILL NOT SAVE THE PLANET BY BUYING SHIT

I just want every person who watches this show to know you’re disgusting beasts and I hate you

On the odd chance there’s a room in your house not yet equipped with a BezosCorp Data Aggregator/Transmitter

On the odd chance there’s a room in your house not yet equipped with a BezosCorp Data Aggregator/Transmitter

I guess like all of us I just assumed Nike’s commitment to quality meant they horsewhip the children who produce shoes for its high-profile clients extra hard

OK but why am I crying laughing at “Worst Nike shoe malfunction since”

New boot goofin’

Mint is for toothpaste and nothing else.

Is Joe Manchin more appealing than Bernie Sanders because he calls himself a Democrat?

The company has also ordered its retail workers to accept any and all returns of the blackface sweater.

Ann Coulter wrote a whole book about how McCarthy was right.

The thing is, he probably did get a tax cut! But he’s got a wobbly glob of alligator jizz where most humans have brains, which explains both why he’s a Trump supporter and why he doesn’t understand how tax withholding works.

You must not have read the angry tweets from Trump voters about their small tax refunds.

Not a lot of people know that if you don’t have money for the subway or just don’t feel like paying, you can hop the turnstile and ride for free.

I drink. Am I doing it right?

“I guess it’d be really more of a gathering than a parade.”

Not bought a house in a subdivision called Plantation Classic Estates

Was the word Plantation in the name of the subdivision when he bought a house there?