I too skied once and once only. Having zero prior experience with any winter sport, I thought it was well-advised to smoke an entire blunt with my brother and his friends, each of whom had their own blunt but, unlike me, knew how to ski. I immediately, repeatedly, fell on my ass and could not summon the upper body…

$100 is too much to spend on any piece of clothing that isn’t meant to be worn to a wedding.

$100 is too much to spend on any piece of clothing that isn’t meant to be worn to a wedding.

“You live in Indiana” would be a good retort if it fit syllabically.

So what? If you’re not committing any crimes, you have nothing to worry about if the government has your DNA. Am I right, Alexa?

This is a bad take

AirPods are trash for trash people

AirPods are trash for trash people

In all fairness, to be rich is to be an expert in what other people can survive without.

It’s not as good as them getting sucked into the real Hell but they’ll all get there eventually.

The master race, everyone.

Co-sign, minus the sarcasm

1. XLIX

I hope this comment is entered into evidence against you in court someday

I’m ok with putting everyone with a face tattoo in prison for life.

Sounds like it really made an impression on you

Still?

I stopped in ABQ on a road trip 10 years ago. I’d never been to a strip club before and luckily there was a really sleazy one right there in the downtown core where we’d stopped for a drink. The club hung a banner on the building inviting patrons to “USE OUR DISCREET REAR ENTRANCE” indicated by a directional arrow. We…

The audience for this show is 100% perverts and psychopaths. Full stop.

Moving is actually a really good opportunity to assess with clear eyes which books you want to keep with you and which you realistically will never read, or never read again.

A federal judge rejected this argument today:

Sounds like you’ve got Troop Fatigue