2018 Midterm Elections: Now with free shard of cookie after voting!

One year absinthe and antifreeze was found in the wreckage of one girl’s car. Middle of nowhere upper middle class teens with more time on their hands than they knew what to do with often spent that time getting in trouble, to disastrous results. There were a couple every year. 

“That was a low point for me as well. I feel very strongly about that, and I am very vehemently against family separation and the separation of parents and children,” 

Back when I was in High School, more years ago than I want to admit, we used to play a game. We’d look at our fellow students and decide which ones were most likely to “wrap their (daddy’s) car around a tree” on Prom night. Nine times out of ten we were right. This kid looks like the kind of kid who’d end up doing…

This. It’s not milk, stop calling it milk. It’s “nut juice” at best. Sorry big nut, but no one wants to buy a product called “nut juice”, but milk it isn’t. 

I don’t know how this makes me feel. Am I supposed to be happy that this guy got money from the state? Am I supposed to sit here with some “now you know what it feels like” high horse? Or am I supposed to remain cynical in thinking that he probably enjoyed himself a racist joke or two before the DNA test and saw the…

See, that’s what I don’t understand. I can understand getting mad when someone cuts you off (but that doesn’t excuse road rage). I will never understand getting pissed off when someone flicks you off/honks at you for something you did wrong on the road. That just screams “I can’t deal with being told I’m in the…

About a month ago I’m riding to the local Park & Ride to pick up my father so we can ride in to work together like we do every morning. I come to an intersection where I make a right turn to go behind a shopping center on the way to the P&R. Now, the light is red but there’s traffic turning onto/crossing the highway…

Or would the Predator have been better off with her company when facing down the Alien/Predator hybrid? Hmmm...

I always thought it was funny how, yes, she was the only one who survived and she earned the trust and respect of the Predator, but she was still left all alone in the middle of nowhere Arctic Circle with no shelter, food, or way to return to civilization. The Predator couldn’t even get her a lift home.

This is Alien vs. Predator all over again.

You don’t think Tom Brady could have brought peace to the Middle East? /s 

*Slaps roof of car* This badboy can fit so much trunk in its backseat. 

It doesn’t hurt, okay. It doesn’t hurt. All those moments will be lost in time, maybe, in the computer. Time to die.

Pictured: an apt representation of Trump’s current predicament. 

Retires, impeached, dies from the toxic chemicals absorbed into his system through contact with the soccer ball Putin gave him. Any way works for me, really. 

He knows he doesn’t get to take Air Force One with him when he leaves the Presidency, right?