Hopefully this third triumvirate ends with fewer murders than the other two.

Man, Kinja Deals really fucked up by missing these!

I knew a guy who spent a summer - two months! - in England, and came back with the accent. On top of that, he would say things like "Do you have any crisps, or as you would say, chips?" But after a couple of beers he'd forget and his Wisconsin accent was back.

Of course Europe makes you better. Spend five minutes with anyone who studied abroad and they’ll tell you.

Quietly accepting the unwritten rules of baseball is against the unwritten rules of baseball.

I guess the criminalization of blackness is now complete; and every black male is a criminal, every white man a saint.

I ... I mean what the actual fuck?! 

Parents. Parents buy this for kids, just like the 3DS. It’s amazing how many of you still don’t understand Nintendo. 

“FUCK TRUMP” should be the chant at every event, internationally.

Are you fucking kidding me?

This bird is really hoping you didn’t notice that fart.

Fixed the New Orleans Pelicans logo for you.

Ok, so just hear me out.....

You are a true hero

I don’t know about you, but I have serious anxiety about getting a fleshlight through a TSA checkpoint, so she stays at home. I can jerk off into a hotel washcloth filled with moisturizer and left on the room heater for five minutes for a couple days just fine.

How can you criticize a guy who is always pulling for his teammates?

Thank God that sister, through her tears, told them to come get him instead of him moving towards them.  No doubt about it, she saved that brother’s life. 

“We need to move this large rock. What should we do?”

The number of people who are too dumb to realize that something is wrong with their motion-smoothing-enabled tv is the #1 data point that should have tipped us off that Trump would win.