I’ve ghosted so many casual hook ups that I’ve had missing persons reports filed on me.

What you can’t see is the pile of failed attempts littering the Pizza Hut floor.

I’m just impressed those racist shits from Arkansas could correctly spell “KKK.”

i believe you but idk bb it did not play out well at all. like i kept reading it making a slightly upset, unsure face because i felt as if it was too cruel for jez to have put up, and there was a joke i was missing, but it was, unfortunately, absolutely something someone out there has written.

I really needed this

She could totally have an everyday vagina and a special occasion vagina. That’s what I’d do.

Lots of men are born without a penis. Lots of them have lovers. How is this news unless you are transphobic?

I mean, if Christian Bale thinks you’re being an asshole...

Well, I’m not excited about voting for Hillary, but I do enjoy denying people their dying wishes, so I guess there’s an upside.

I hope she wins & he haunts his family.

Thanks, but I’m just about done taking political advice from dead white guys.

This isn’t about wearing short skirts or something, this is doctors giving medical advice about women allowing their bodies to recover.

I've said it before, but I just can't stay on the Paul Walker Grief Train knowing about his penchant for teenagers. It's still sad that he died, of course, but this huge outpouring is unnerving. Let's just say the sadness is tempered by a full-body skin crawl.

After being with such a frigid bitch, being with you was like being given my first taste of a real spirit, just your laugh, like wind chimes in the perfect spring breeze, was overwhelming. I was nervous and awestruck, Go to prom with me?

I'm surprised that I'm surprised by this look. The turtleneck is a ... choice.

You missed Bob's Burgers—duh, obviously Tina's a reader.

I was just talking about Wetlands at a wedding this weekend. Did you know it's on Netflix now? So is Amelie! Make it a double-feature!

Ummm... the tone of this article was really flippant. I'd love to see some more well-thought out posts about ISIS, how they view/treat women and children, and why/how these girls may have been convinced to leave their (comfortable?) lives and travel to a war zone. I know Jez isn't the NYT, but I think you guys could…

The parents of the girls have expressed "incredulity" today that Begum's public exchange with Mahmood on Twitter did not send up red-flags for the London authorities to get involved, given all their surveillance of the Arab community.