In first grade, I don’t remember what happened but my first grade teacher, Mrs. McCarley, threatened to paddle every single one of us until whoever did The Thing confessed to doing it. (This was the 80s, so paddling was still a thing.) I did NOT do the thing, and I sure as hell wasn’t getting paddled for it, so I went…

What sort of person drives around with a lifelike doll in a child seat?

Christy Turlington was my favorite of the bunch.

This is why I don’t have compassion for people who have shitty tattoos and complain about them. Im like well did you see their portfolio? and 100% they say no. I mean I have a shitty tattoo on my knuckles but thats cuz I was drunk and my friend was drunk and thought hey wouldn't it be fun to tattoo each other. -__- I…

YES. Honestly, from what’s said about shows like this, it sounds like it would be a total nightmare to be on one. No internet, no phones, no reading materials. You can journal I *think* but that is IT. So there’s no getting away from the people you’re around, who of course are all cast to be complete loony tunes. I…

This is the first time I've ever heard of unearned fame ending badly. Because I was born yesterday and am a baby who can read and write in English.

To catch a Predator in the rye

Warm Bodies was great.

Have you seen the Jaguar commercial?

Did you watch Catastrophe yet on Amazon?

It is genuinely hilarious. We watched it based on a rec from my cousin and laughed so creepily during the entire flight home.

I’ve heard this show is a riot. Now I know what to stream before “You’re The Worst” comes back.

This is my very first post on Jezebel even though I've been reading this website for maybe about two years now. I've never commented before because I've never thought I had anything interesting or worthwhile to add. But after reading the comments sections for so long, I feel like I know so many of you and thought that…

Guarantee you his name will be found on the Ashley Madison list.

I can’t believe she actually found 4 men who would put their penis in her, but there’s no accounting for taste, is there? The MadTV sketch “Lowered Expectations” comes to mind.

I love them both, but this makes me:

*packs bags*

You really don’t. In this case, ignorance is truly bliss. On the other hand, Below Decks starts tonight. I want to “yacht”.

Yolanda is the only one I genuinely like.