“Well, he did have his boxers on and she did not see his ass. Everyone just hates Toronto and the Leafs because we’re the ‘centre of the universe’ and it is the ‘hockey capital of the world’. Everything gets blown out of proportion in the media because they hate us ‘cause they ain’t us.”

Amazing <3

I still can’t believe we had a semi-pro hockey team for a few years! And the IceGators right down the road! Those were the days! I loved going, but I can’t believe they thought that was going to work here.

The Swiss Army spokesman continued, “We are unsure of why Mr. Schurter decided to protest in this way, when he obviously had so many other tools at his disposal to do so.” 

At least Washington has the title for their 2019 season in review video.

Anyway, the Bears won 31-15.

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

If Dan Marino had played hockey:

The same type of person who turns $30M guaranteed into $9M guaranteed and then wants the world to believe he’s outsmarted everyone. 

The British tabloid press continues to be one moral step below guys who sell fake insulin but the real story here is how rugby union has managed to be the most progressive “tough guy” sport on the planet.

You can’t get a headline right (😂it’s— literally at the top of the page, Professor...🤣), you’re still using the term “Weaksauce” (as one word, apparently) in 2019 (right before dropping some halfhearted ageism🙄), you seem deeply confused as to how quotation marks (even of the sarcastic variety) “should” “work”—…

Holy shit! I’m almost 100 percent sure I saw this car on Mulholland last night, right around that time!

I've gone from socially drinking during the game to break out the tequila and shot glasses. 

These guys fight with the skill and grace of three sleepy manatee trying to fuck a beach ball.

Looks like fall season has come early to Ohio.

I assume D+ is going to offer a two-tiered subscription system. A standard plan that includes every season of the Simpsons, and a premium plan that only includes seasons 1-9.

i think labeling him “bipolar” does a disservice to actual mentally ill people, and kinda lets him off the hook. his problem isn’t that he’s bipolar — it’s that he’s a toxic, racist asshole.  (and being a toxic, racist asshole is not a known symptom of bipolar disorder)

“Tyrone is a bipolar douche”

Sociopath more likely; as someone suffering from bipolar, it’s difficult to see constant misuse of the term as a blanket branding of people with clear mental instability. 

Let’s be honest with ourselves here. They did him a favor.

[Gruden voice] THIS TEAM I CALL ‘EM MORRISSEY BECAUSE IN A PANIC THEY’RE TRYNA HANG IT ON THE DJ