"Wait, we can opt out of Cleveland?" — Clevelanders.

I suppose I should thank Nike for attempting to protect me from the feeling of "there's 10 minutes I'll never get back" with which I'm now consumed.

I read the whole thing. Total waste of time. Theres your summation.

For once, a sequel that's even better than the original (and this one mentions LeBron):

Forgiven for the crime of leaving their shitty ass city and shitty ass owner after spending 8 seasons carrying their shitty ass team around on his back without ever even being the team's highest paid player...

Nope, they are. It's actually the easiest to officiate considering there's 3 officials, 10 players and most of the action is played right in front of them in the half court. They don't even have to distinguish between a charge and a block anymore because they put an idiot-proof line for them. The advent of replay has…

As relatively meaningless a call as it was, the ridiculously over-the-top "offensive foul" call on Patty Mills for "sticking his leg out" was a textbook example of just how fucking idiotic NBA officials are.

That's awesome but how is she supposed to clean the house and make dinner when she's playing softball?

Neat they saved me a seat! Any idea where the jackasses who take themselves too seriously are? Oh they all got "Curbside To Go" but are just eating it alone in their cars? And they all got quesadilla burgers?

FCC COMPLAINT 05.19.14

Yeah, you can explode your house all you want, but why do you have to shove it down my throat all the time?

You say, " That kids is what happens when you try and take our guns away. " :)

You say, "That kids, is what it looks like when a house explodes." It's not like a pair of tits flew out the garage door.

I don't have a problem with houses exploding per se, but on live television? What am I supposed to tell my kids?

I give a shit. The got to march in the opening and closing ceremonies and were televised and discussed by the NBC announcers during the first night of Olympic coverage. And they didn't even bother to compete. That's outrageous.

What, exactly, did they "get away with"? They told a bunch of lies and sucked at skiing.

J. O'Neal took my son to the All-Star game when I was in Iraq in 2003. I'll never forget it. A solid guy.

"It's nice to see an old man get up like that. It's a shame no one scored though."
-Pfizer

35 year old Jermaine O'Neal looks 35 years younger than Greg Oden.