... What?

I rather enjoyed "Drood", myself. It dragged a few times, but it was fascinating to be forced into a breath-smellingly close look at people ravaged by the wraiths of opium addiction, not to mention being on a first-name basis with the gent that wrote "A Christmas Carol" and "Great Expectations".

That was hard to read. Not because I am an idiot and unable to comprehend "five-dollar words", but because the prose is much too archaic and Byzantine. I felt like I was reading a Jane Austen novel written by Steinbeck on a day too pretty to be inside and too drunk to be outside.

I had a hard time finishing Dan Simmons' "The Terror"... but then I have a hard time immersing myself in dreary period suspense, especially Eastern European WWII dramas with maudlin Polish characters that sound like Oskar from "Hey Arnold". I never could finish Metro 2033; I wanted to kill myself just listening to the…

MIND-BOTTLING

I'm talking about the herpderp hate that's following your comment, not your original comment.

> "Don't play them at all"

I'm pretty sure Zach Braff isn't God. Why are you capitalizing pronouns?

Here we go again with the "Xbox MC sucks because people other than myself like it" bullshit.

My mother always told me that if I can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.

www.hoogietrax.com

I'll be sure to let Stephen King know that the publishing industry doesn't want his highly-acclaimed portal fantasy 11/22/63.

That was EXCELLENT.

Probably the fishnet leggings.

I can't either. You should be ashamed of yourself.

These all remind me of the Garbage Pail Kids trading cards.

No, there's already a guy over there doing that. You are the self-designated troll for this article. For some reason, there's one of you in every article and it's mind-boggling. It's like some secret society of trolls that go into every Gawker review/preview with the single-minded purpose of thumbing your nose at…

I dunno, but a "blow-up doll full of shit" is the funniest thing I've heard today.

I'm totally serious. There is one of you guys in every thread. Why do you keep doing this? Is there some sort of Asshole Bat-Signal that summons you guys to come shit on everything at least once?

I didn't even think about that, but it really is, isn't it? Too bad there aren't any fortresses I can assail with my sniper rifle and SAW in the middle of the night.