You’ve cracked the secret. Some people just are skinnier. It’s a combination of metabolism, gut biome, insulin sensitivity, cortisol levels, how fidgety you are, and other factors we’re just starting to discover. “Just eat less” doesn’t tend to work, and brains are very hard to trick.

I have never gotten a hangover, no matter how wasted I’ve gotten. Some people just don’t. It’s possibly genetic. I feel so damn lucky.

Depends on how big a slice is. That’s a whole lot of cream cheese, but 2.5 lbs is only like 3900 calories. Divide that by 8, 500 calories. And that’s the predominantly caloriffic ingredient in that cheesecake. The sugar is next at 1400 calories. Divide by 8 is 175. So each slice here would be primarily made up by…

That sounds like the weirdest loophole lol.

...what meat tastes good without seasoning? I wouldn’t eat any of that without at least salt.

“The vein that runs from the center of the tail along the back of the shrimp is not, in fact, shrimp poo, but rather the creature’s intestinal tract.”

I’m very dubious. How do you put 1300 calories in a slice of cake? I don’t care how big that is, 1300 calories is a literal entire meal at an Indian joint, complete with several cups of tea and an entire circle of naan. I mean, an entire stick of straight up butter isn’t 1300 calories. And a 2500 calorie sundae? An…

If I ever end up on Death Row, my last meal will be an entire Linda’s Fudge Cake. Then just put me down before I hurl. But it will be glorious.

I have occasionally thought, like...if life hands you an entire sack of lemons and you end up starving on the street, is it actually better for your health to just like...do enough of a crime to go to jail? Like IDK, hand a teller a note saying you’re robbing them, then like sit down and wait to be hauled off? And be…

I can’t help seeing “gotmilk” instead of “Gottmik” every time I see this headline.

Yes. I would drop kick a seagull into the mouth of a shark to defend my food. Seagulls are assholes.

I think you mean Tragedy of the Commons.

Agreed except for “it sucks and all you really want out of it is the garlic butter.” Nah. I actually do like lobster meat itself.

Foie gras is modern ortolan. It’s super hideous to the animals, even beyond normal industrial farming, but it’s so decadent...

We should have “new parent” kits that you can pick from and just get given to you. The products would be super simple and just the bare minimum for safety and care, not something you can black market easily. A simple car seat, crib, some baby clothes, formula if you want it, baby monitor, that kind of thing. Something…

I guess this can be boiled down as, if it’s designed for bodily safety, don’t buy it used (helmets, car seats, etc), or if it’s literal garbage (moldy).

Alternatively: why would you want to? Snakes have to have somewhere to live, too, and they eat pests like mice. I get that you don’t want a venomous snake around, but most of what will end up in your garden is like, garter snakes.

I think it depends on what you’re eating. If there’s any mess to it, don’t eat it in the car. Not for “soiling the car” reasons, but because you will end up paying way too much attention to not being messy and not enough to driving well. But like, a protein bar or something? That takes no brain cycles.

What, no. You don’t ever drive with one hand? That is every driver I’ve ever been in a car with. You swap when your arm gets tired.

I’m going to add to this list “letting your dog jump on people,” “letting your dog stink,” and “not training your dog to be quiet.”