I love my Instant Pot. I use it for Instant Pot appropriate things. The people who drag that ginormous thing out for boiled eggs that you can make in an electric kettle in the same time it takes to set up the Instant Pot are certified nutballs.

Tom Hardy is def a boyfriend. Also this video almost caused my uterus to expel my IUD via sheer will:

Hi! Dan from Deadspin here. I have some information to add so the Jezebel commenters can make an informed decision.

stars Elba as “a struggling DJ and eternal bachelor

Those were all Gungans and in the extended Blue Ray version they’re all gonna have voices and throughout the whole fight they’re gonna be saying shit like “Oopsie me have a stabby” really loudly

Sure, there’s apple, blueberry, cherry, lemon meringue, key lime, Mississippi mud, pumpkin, pecan, chocolate pecan, chocolate mousse, strawberry rhubarb, chess pie, bourbon walnut, coconut cream, banana cream, peanut butter..

It doesn’t get any better with age. My 14yo recently regaled the family with this joke at the dinner table:

my 3yo has been very into his scrotum lately and loves to tell me how there’s 2 fluffy balls in there

Glad he was more than just a Witness.

Having my cats consume my dead flesh is my plan for ascending to godhood. Pretty sure I can get the wife onboard with it.

Five days minimum. Not sure if I’ll be able to keep going much longer after that.

He looks nothing like me.

The Bucs’ offering to help pay is an empty gesture. They are only willing to donate $4, or a buck an ear.

This happened maybe, like, twice but Rafael Furcal used to try and bunt over the charging 3B’s head whenever he caught someone cheating early. The 90 foot double is pretty exciting in a little league sort of way.

It is upsetting how he is such a smug jagoff and so hot at the same time. Maybe the redpillers are right.

I can not help to love Anthony Bourdain.

And where all his biscuits are oonderbaked.

I loved Alden Ehrenreich in Hail Caesar! and I’m rooting for him in the Han Solo movie, though that sounds like a clusterfuck. This movie sounds good, even with Jezebel nemesis Ansel in the lead...

A giant fuck no to both Mark Zuckerberg and The Rock. You want to get into public service, boys? Run for mayor, dog catcher, what the fuck ever, not the leader of the free world, ok? Who the fuck wants Mark Zuckerberg anyway?