I’ve done Murph a couple times (no vest), and I think my best time ever was around 55 minutes. For comparison, I can run a mile in 5:30, two miles at 13:00 without feeling particularly winded, rock climb regularly at V4s pushing to V5s, and oh yeah, I played in the fucking NFL.

So y’all clocked the wedding ring he was wearing, right? I’m just going to pretend I missed it. 

I honestly don’t know if I should feel upset about this. I kinda get the reasoning, even if I think the end result sucks. If the character being white is part of the story, you can’t really change that, can you? I’m... I’d really like to read a Trump article right now. Those are way easier to form an opinion on.

“Henry Miller’s estate, for example, allows for all-black casts of All My Sons and Death of a Salesman.”

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

I’m black you dumbass

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

They better start baking eels or I’m gonna be pissed.

Marilyn Manson wishes he was Noel Fielding.

Don’t be mean to my goth boo Noel 😡

That’s Richmond. He got scurvy.

Through the first four games of 2017, Puig has five hits and four walks in 16 plate appearances—and three of those hits were big ol’ dongs. 

Hello and thank you!

wow I can’t believe my coworkers didn’t tell me we have a vineyard

Those praying the gay away camps never made any sense to me for a bevy of reasons, if a parent is afraid their child will be gay, why would you send them to a camp with other hot gay kids? Doesn’t make any sense.

I used to volunteer a lot for Planned Parenthood in Los Angeles, and much of that was “community outreach” — going to communities that had a clinic and passing out information about the services it offered. The very first time I did one of those, I had what remains the most rewarding and simultaneously most…

Hello! As a former Hill person, two things:

Don Jr looks like you combined the DNA of Vincent Adultman and Butthead.

Baby Fennic Foxes would like a word

We’ve had two new giraffe babies at the Oklahoma City Zoo in the last couple of years (one is just a month old!)...they are freaking precious! Watching them run is a hoot.