All those women look fucking homicidal.

I feel really old looking at that girl wearing a wig with fake dark roots on it. Her eyeliner amazing though.

I'm really stuck on the fact that the president of one of their PR company subsidiaries is so good at PR that he thought it would be cool to SHOOT AN ELEPHANT IN THE FACE ON TV. 

Well said.

Throwback to my cousin throwing a dart into my thigh when we were playing in Grandpa's pool room.

I’m daily glad that i didn’t have kids, but I can see the appeal. I grew up taking care of three younger siblings, so I kind of feel like I’ve already done my parenting, and the drudgery is all too real. Enough to convince me to get dogs, who I can drink and swear infront of without guilt. That said, my siblings and…

A lot of the public toilets in my city have sinks like that, I assume to prevent people filling them with stuff. Not so much avant garde as anti-fuckwit. I guess if that's what your needs are, you do you, Kimye.

Honest to god, mate, what the fuck are you talking about?

This is far beside the point, but Zooey Deschanel having a website called HelloGiggles is the most Zooey Deschanel thing I ever heard. 

She’s 31. If anything she's too old to sound this stupid.

First birthdays are absolutely all about the parents, because the babies are incapable of giving a shit. What's weird is that people go so all out for them, even though they know this. Second birthdays, not a thing. 

More golf trophies AND he's cheated on more wives. I'm sure he's already asked if he can award it to himself.

I feel like, if you’ve dropped $30k on porn, you’ve got some pretty specialist preferences. Leaving that shit for your poor parents to look after is your own damn fault. This dude is a wanker in more ways than one.

Whatever part of the US you're from, I'm from further south than you.

AND argue that she's a progressive at the same time.

In my experience, the most jealous people are the ones most likely to cheat.

My friend broke up with a guy who really WAS about to propose. After she found that out, she was still having little wistful/guilty moments for months after. I was like, babe, remember how you dumped him because he was crazy? Bullet fucking dodged.

I mean, yeah, but FIVE YEARS? 

I’ve been to a couple of Quidditch matches, because a delightfully nerdy friend of mine is on a team. There were a couple of minor injuries, but I mainly remember her team mates being visibly shocked at how much more exhausting it is to play sports for an hour than to just read about other people doing so. They seemed…

Mash them with pumpkin and mix in peas and chopped onions. It's a good time.