maddie, write an unauthorized biography. i would read the shit out of it.

I’ll support a Christian baker, and accept that they are Christian, when they also require of their customers documents proving that the cake is for a first marriage. The baker should also lie detector test their customers for infidelity and other offenses actually covered by the Ten Commandments. Until they do this,…

My normally rational best friend lost her fucking mind when she was pregnant. Wanted an ‘orgasmic’ drug free home birth with an elaborate post pregnancy placenta eating ritual etc. This is the same woman who curled into a ball and cried (at least once that I know of) when a ‘super absorbancy’ tampon hurt too much to…

Of course there is no evidence. Food goes through an acid bath in the stomach and gets broken down into the major macro and micro nutrients along with water. Human’s don’t have a special slow-release magical placenta reservoir to carry you through an invigorating pregnancy healing period. Jesus fuck. Get it together…

Girl what? Yes. That’s why I mentioned it.

Is it ok to be against rape but still think this sucks

Interesting bars you got there.

ISN’T THERE SOME SORT OF RAPE KIT BACKLOG OR SOMETHING?

“ Im not racist! I threaten to lynch all kinds of people! Asians, Mexicans, Jews, Muslims, non-white atheists, Catholics, Gays, Lesbians, those Transylvanias what dress like women, and sometimes regular women if they don’t appreciate me for my winnin’ personality. See?! All kinds of people!”

Next on “Family Feud”,we took a survey of the top three things you can catch!

Just tell them they’re not that attractive and you don’t know who let them talk. Maybe if they were hotter you would listen to their opinions.

See I would go the opposite direction. Some red-headed, socially awkward little shit who went most of his life, uncomfortable in social settings and an outright disaster in romantic ones, without getting laid getting rejected by girls all the time until it finally built up and made him an angry self-loathing little…

Funny, I feel like an actress whose talent is widely adored, beauty widely regarded and class uniformly recognized shouldn’t have to answer to a commenter about her neck. She’s gorgeous. She’s also over the age of 30. I’m sure she’d apologize but she has three tv shows to shoot.

Whoop-dee-fucking-doo! Two of the most shallow people in the world are having another fuck trophy.

Is Kylie scared of turning 19 bc she’s afraid of aging out of Tyga’s age bracket?

This is a program we should throw donations at! If your willing to be a donor for a loved one but aren't compatible, you could be a match for someone else in the same predicament. Why have I never heard of this.

My best friend’s mom needed a kidney and no one we knew was a match. So my friend and I gave genetic information to the Univ of Neb Med Center and they submitted it to the Paired Donation database. Turned out I matched a guy in Iowa (who needed a kidney) and my friend’s mom matched his wife (who was a willing donor).…

You got side-eyed because your BABY wasn't wearing a top? Good lord.

I like to imagine Sal rescued Chauncey and they’re living in the Village.

We have zero idea who our advertisers are — aside from looking at the banners, the same way you do — and it doesn’t determine what we write about. At all. Ever. We just like Amy Schumer and, to a greater extent, sexy rodeos.