brb never sleeping ever again

hahaha if we got tested for smoking weed nobody would have jobs. We have a pothead trying to run for Prime Minister ffs

Carriage House.

Hammurderer

That would be difficult for many of the cases she recounts.

haha, wait, what part of Texas are you in? All my buddies down in Htown are freaking the fuck out because the price of oil dropped or some such shit and there have massive layoffs. “Why are you so happy that the price of gas is so low?! People are losing jobs!” “Because I’m making minimum wage, you dipshit, not that…

Maybe In-N-Out is just trying to one up McDonald’s with the mascots. Instead of the Hamburglar, In-N-Out has the Hamsassin.

Maybe you should sit down for this...

That reminds me of this only with fur.

*ROO FERRIGNO* this.

I’d guess this is a myostatin-related genetic mutation, like that enormously muscle-bound whippet that was the internet’s favorite LOLWUT a while back.

This is like what I imagine Glenn Danzig would look like if he had been born a kangaroo.

How many Hemsworth brothers are there, anyway?

People with crazy big families are leaving a bad taste in my mouth nowadays. I’ll pass on that documentary.

Plus I don't see a lot of people up in arms about when a white guy plays jesus.

Stephen King just broke something in his house because he didn’t think of this first. Side note: if anyone needs me, I’ll be smelling my baby’s hair for the next 4 hours.

Sadly it’s not even close for me. I once did a postpartum home visit to find that the infant had died several days before but the mother was still bathing and dressing the little body and frantic because “She just won’t eat.” I suspect this will turn out to be something similar. Grief can do some powerfully tragic…

Rest assured, the L&O:SVU writers are already on the final draft of the script after three rounds of Tragedy MadLibs.

“... the decision to cast Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm was the first indication we had that the movie was going off the rails ...”

his "me time"