who are we to criticize any other culture?

I know what’s a great idea - let’s ONLY give jobs to people who are financially secure enough to not need them! That’ll teach those poors a lesson.

We also don't credit check job applicants, because that shit is fucked up and wrong.

Clown car uterus.

It's all that yogurt.

CHANGE APPROVED!

Just guessing now, but there’s a good chance she might be dead, so pretty sure we’re not hurting her feelings.

then the Queen went, “I wish I were dead.”

That’s “well paid Sex Goddess” to you, bitch.

I’m now picturing your Grandmother dining at Hooters, and questioning waitresses about their favorite owls.

After we're done we should get some ring pops and go find a rave.

I assume it’s “what’s a viable alternative to using the Port Authority restrooms?”.

The year 2000 phoned, it wants its hair back.

BRB printing that on a t shirt.

I waitressed food service for about half a minute, before switching to strictly cocktails. Once, I had a table of four church ladies who complained about everything from the temperature of their soup to the texture of their rice pudding (‘if this was properly made rice pudding, there would not be a skin on it, dear’).

That's the nicest offer I've gotten all day!

Guess what's in the blue cheese sauce?

What is interweb? How is babby formed?

Let's start a GoFundMe for a can of gas and a book of fucking matches.