I dated a guy with a clinically diagnosed micropenis. It was no big deal, really (no pun intended).

If only I had more to give...

Yes you imperialistic dog! Get out there and minicab your ass across town until you track down that kid’s parents, then humbly prostrate yourself and beg for permission to gift them with your granola bar (hint: the one actually being gifted is you).

“Are you really that much more important that you deserve that honor?”

Was she kissing him, or was she actually trying to suck his youthful life force out of his body?

"I'm so unique and bohemian!"

Uh, excuse me. #notallagingdominatrixes

Amen. They'd be lucky I didn't adhesive tape a used pad onto their forehead if they asked me that.

The “sensible person” would get the fuck over it and grow up. Women bleed, oh woe is me.

On a somewhat related note, don’t buy ANYTHING from the Zulily plus sized line. My God, what a bunch of unmitigated crap. Badly made, sizes with zero relationship to reality, insanely slow shipping - and no returns!! The “jeans” I ordered turned out to be cheap polyester jeggings. Of the three tops I ordered, NONE…

White right wing Christian lawyer. They’ll probably make him a cup of tea, wrap him in a crocheted afghan, and let him take a nap on the police chief’s couch, in lieu of cell time.

This asshole is going to end up out on bail, if he isn’t already. I hope his wife and kids can get far, far away from him before then, and with some really good security measures in place.

Unfortunately, you hardly need to go all the way back to Jacobite era Scotland for this kind of bullshite.

Because nothing says reactionary feminism like joining ISIS. Fight the patriarchy (if your husband/father/brother says it's ok to do so)!

Is South Dakota actually a real place? I feel kind of feel like it isn’t, but the whole middle part of the U.S. map should be marked “here there be dragons” as far as my brain is concerned.

Water dishes they frequently refuse to drink out of, for weird, cat related reasons. Cats don't adequately adjust their water intake to compensate for eating dry. Some do ok, for a while - many others don't.

Isn't DJ also a crazy born again?

Comet and Air Bud were actually about four different dogs, all owned by the same trainers.

If you’re that concerned with kids coming into contact with the sets of porn shoots, I advise you to skip staying in most (all) mid priced hotel suites.

Lol @ propaganda