Only if she's wearing her no nail scratching mittens.

Me tinks iz just perfect.

One of my favourite sessions this year involved sticking a lit birthday candle in a penis while a group of us sang 'Happy Birthday' around it. Fun! Later we had cake.

One of the very rare times where over use of the NOPE gif trope would be appropriate.

And yet Justin Bieber doesn't even lose a clump of hair. #lifeisunfair

Patriarchy Kombucha FTW

Needs moar starz

I only let the patriarchy have my old blood. I keep it in jars under the sink for just that purpose.

I've made a (very lucrative) career out of being a fat sexworker, so yeah - there are a lot of people "in to that".

Since he never did it to me personally (if he tried it I'd have kicked his penis so hard it would still be lodged in the back of his throat), so I'd better not.

there's a super well known actor who pisses on sex workers without their permission. He's notorious for it. I don't know if he does it to anyone but sexworkers, but he's made a habit out of it with the escorts he books.

Mmmm. Lisa Ronan me in the middle sammich.

I'm not surprised - everything I've ever read about him says he's a giant dick.

I'm sorry, but there can only ever be one true Riff Raff.

Settle down there, skippy. They placed a cat into a new home, they didn't stick it on an ice floe and launch it into James Bay.

What Justin Bieber would more likely be saying is "herp a derp beewbz comeatmebro rappity rap monkeyz hair bleach eggins nap nap", but sure, basically the exact same message.

I'd also settle for telling you to eat a bag of dicks, if that makes you feel any better.

The perfect holiday gift!

Viking Kitties were metal before metal even existed.

Now I need a cold shower. And a ham sandwich.