"Small batch Gluten free ORGANIC acorn on a free range stick" - fixed it for you.

You'd need a luggage cart to haul around the John Hamm sized pop.

Responsibly rehoming a pet is a difficult decision that sometimes even caring owners have to make. Having to choose between your wife and unborn child's health during a high risk pregnancy, and your kitty?

I guess if you got the black one you *could* still 'race' them...

My first thought was, "oh a new puppy, fun!", followed by "..ordered one?", and then "speeds?", which for a split second I rationalized as "...for Dachshund racing, I ... guess?" (FYI that's a real thing, Weiner dog races). And then the light sort of went on, and I was all "ooh, so not a dog then".

I once had to go to the ER to get a sponge removed that had gotten stuck up in my hot pocket. Good times.

I read "doxy" and thought you were using slang for Dachshund , which made the rest of that paragraph really confusing for a few seconds.

So candy corn, basically.

That poster makes his head look like it's hinged and flips open - like a pez dispenser filled with crazy.

All the surface blood vessels in my chest and on my face ruptured due to how violently I was being sick, so I feel you. Nothing funny about it.

Not half as repugnant as tsk tsking every time a pregnant woman takes a bathroom break to hurl in privacy.

I'm very sorry :(

I'm saving it for when I get Ebola.

My favorite comment was "western medicine is all about money", made by a cousin who was shilling for Young Living oils.

Yet another reason why 'Murica kicks Brit butt!

This is the kind of hippie chick who, if you told her you had the Black Plague, would be all "Have tried Thieves in a diffuser????"

Heh.

If you smell like patchouli and play hacky sack, you're getting painted.

She likes to remind us all on FB that she's 1/16 Mohawk. By "remind", I mean - post stupid faux inspirational "native" quotes and jpegs of wolves and wise women.

Justice won't be done until a monkey has snatched him bald headed.