Where were you twenty years ago when people were mad about Stern? 

That was the point where I realized I’d been tricked and this whole thing was a trailer for Armando Ianucci’s new show.

“It’s so weird...they seem like tiny people right now, but in ten years they’ll just be objects!”

My favorite Tweet of the year has a similar flavour:

Now get cracking on screwing in that light bulb.

Why do you hate our troupes?

I don’t think it even needs to imply anything, just hang there. Because it’s true, and kind of funny, and also sad. If you were going to describe Trump to someone who’s been living on an island for 40 years, you might say, “Well, he’s the type of guy who likes to hang around beauty pageants.” It would not be a…

men are just too emotional for sports

That’s just good, clean football. #9 got his bell rung, but once he shakes it off he’ll be fine.

No problem with it for me. Some band’s formations only go to X. Theirs go to XI

I plan on tricking him into giving it to us.

Moral of the story: if you don’t let your kids play football, they don’t have to read as many David Brooks columns.

I’m pretty sure our country is founded upon boycotting. Unless you’re going meta since in history terms the US is new?

If your freedom to protest requires “not here, not now,” then it isn’t freedom.

First, I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro’s great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen’s Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is…

thats what ended slavery

I can imagine all the NASCAR fans on the lycos search engine typing in Google Tony Stewart.

Refs should totally get like green flags to throw for good plays.

Well I can kinda see where he’s coming from with trans people being Predators, I mean one time I ran into a trans woman at Walmart, and she saw I had my pocket knife on me so she tore my head off and put my skull on display in her spaceship.

She buys groceries?! I assumed her sustenance came from turning her head 180 degrees and eating the face of her partner during copulation.