Exactly. These civilians who don't know their weapons. Sheesh...

This what people like Kaepernick dishonor: men and women have died in the various uniforms of the US military to preserve our freedom to whack each other with pepperoni sticks outside a football stadium.

That's because his father was a squirrel. Yes, his mother liked to fuck squirrels.

Running a company (of any size) has little to do with being qualified to handle the Department of the Treasury. It's like saying because someone is a successful basketball coach s/he is well-qualified to be the commissioner of the NBA.

Settle down, Columbine.

Let's stay within the bounds of likelihood here,okay?

In 1900s Berlin, wealthy young men would pay large sums in exquisite and discreet brothels to have angry birds yell at their nipples.

After someone untied them for him.

Looks like he shaved his armpits for this special occasion.

“Okay, Lewis, make this good, 'cause we're probably only going to get one shot."

Gingers aren't a race or ethnic group. They aren't human.

I hate when that happens.

#notallcamels

That was the best part.

Nah. And from Jimmy Carr that's a bit tame.

Yes, the Department of Education does not exist to hands-on manage individual schools. In India, I suppose things may be different. As for a take-over by a state university or a community college how practical is that? How willing would they be to do it? How long would administrative and curricular integration take?…

My 8-year-old daughter noticed over my shoulder that this was about cats, so she insisted I play it. Cats are cute. I was on the phone so I wasn't paying attention. After 30 seconds she walked away. When I finished the phone call, I finally found her a closet, eyes bulging, guzzling from a vodka bottle we keep in the…

I hate trinitarian metaphysics. How can three football teams nevertheless be one Smug?

Don't you have a post office to shoot up or something?

He's worried about his most prized possession: Mengele's manuscripts and reports.