Once more, with feeling:

Nope. Fuck you. I’m a lifelong Vikings fan and I’m already too optimistic. This is going to end horribly...

Got an offer for my F150 from Carmax and then went to the Toyota dealer to get a Tundra. They offered me 3K less than Carmax. The car salesman followed me back to Carmax, I sold the truck to them, then he drove me back to Toyota and I bought the Tundra. I was pretty impressed they’d go that far.

Universal City Nissan,

We had a Gurley when I was a kid. And I always thought it was sad that he didn’t have a lot of room to run around. But my parents took him upstate so he could live on a farm. Now he has plenty of space to run around in the open fields. I miss him sometimes, but I know he’s better off there.

Phillip K Dick endorses this comment

Just part of the Goodell’s desire to have all players quiver before him.

Does that mean in two years when I’m being handed my phd, my memories of being assaulted by men will be magically replaced with new memories in which I pet kittens with philosophers? Because that would sure make nighttime public transit less of an anxiety crap shoot.

Just take your smartphone, put the video you want to share on the screen, and try to throw the phone up into a cloud.

I imagine that the emblem will look something like TourX with a bigger “X” for xtra x’ness.

So, he’s gay, right?

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

I hope I’m not in the minority when I say this:

Headline 2030: Volkswagen Found to Have Been Secretly Installing Bought-Back TDI Engines in Electric Cars to Enhance Range Claims.

Funny, Adrian Peterson’s son’s face is imprinted on his cleats too.

That’s pretty amazing coming from a guy who had a very public, very nasty divorce due to adultery while he was mayor of New York City. The gall of these men...

So, the Republican party only believes a woman has ever been actually sexually harassed if it is done by a Democrat in the White House. Got it.

The Blue Jays are surprisingly transitioning into one of baseball’s most hated teams. Who don’t they have beef with anymore?

Not many people know this but Milwaukee actually comes from an old Ojibwe word meaning “Yeah, but what about Black on Black crime?”

He’s a friar.