These are strange times.

Just the hairy feet, then?

This is more change than human beings are designed to digest. This pace of change makes societies volatile.

I’ll concede that it was low-hanging fruit, but like you, I was shocked and amazed that it was still hanging when I got here.

Plus, he takes the form of a tiger.

Snake Plissken? I thought he was dead…

…otherwise known as “Mondays”.

Genius.

I hate you.

Compared to the Civic, it’s Gal Gadot. (Not that you were making that comparison.)

I’ll see your Bill Murray…

Like all good, self-loathing people, I’d probably just spend Purge Night wailing on my junk with a bowling trophy. So you know… like any other Wednesday…

I just learned that there’s a Festus, MO.

“Darling, do be careful at the pederasty convention. I worry about you when you’re away.”

…that’s because Lincoln has saw it fit to install a 30-way seat.

I retrieve my car with a joystick every day.

My childhood is an orgy of bmws

If a tiger falls in a forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?

Nothing to see here.

(Scribbles name for new prog rock band.)