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Die on the moon, obviously. Come on!

It seems to fit my two main criteria for comedy sequels: not to be so bad that it ruins whatever you liked about the original and not to be rife with self-referential humor and lame pop-culture jokes that age the movie horribly within five years. The original was a family favorite growing up (maybe biased, since the…

So excited that she'll only be <1000 miles from me!

In their defense, Aramark officials pointed to the abundant signs marked Right to Refuse Service.

And I would like to tell all of the Rosé critics that they also need to chill!

How are they mocking/bashing/teasing him? By reporting that he gets injured a lot? He would be one of the best players in the game, but he keeps getting hurt. I think that's worth mentioning. Also, Deadspin just published a piece defending Rose, so there's that.

Dear Deadspin: Stop writing stories when Derrick Rose gets injured, because it makes a Bulls fan sad. You should have better recognition of the "Bulls fan sadness line" and recognize when you're about to cross it. If Derrick Rose should happen to sprain his MCL next week (which he definitely will) do not mention it…

I hear the Lakers are terrible this year.

Guys, this is nothing to freak out about. He had to leave early to go to a meeting.

Every Bulls fan sings a sad, sad song.

My name's not Timothy.

Shit shit shit. So as a kid I was cynical as fuck. Picture Daria but a decade younger. My mom used to read me that book all the time and without fail I'd be hiding tears. Even talking about it as a more grown up person gets me. Idk what I'm supposed to do with this revelation except ugly cry under the covers.

And...that made me cry. I can't even get through that book in normal circumstances, this story makes it more heartbreaking.

Watch that video?

Reminds me of the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. On his website, in words written for children to understand, he explains where it came from:

When I first heard about this story just reading the text made me cry. I can't watch the video, I'm not strong enough!

Hands up: who skipped the video and went right to the comments?

I don't really get commenters who say they expected Jezebel to act in an appropriate, moral way. Like, where did you get the idea that Jezebel was either of those things?
This is a serious question, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Jezebel just doesn't seem very appropriate or morally righteous most of the time, to me.

A young woman in was charged with DUI in Riverdale, Illinois on October 25th. In addition to her erratic driving, the woman was caught wearing sunglasses at 4:28 in the morning. That is bad—very bad—and irresponsible. However, her explanation for why she was driving with her sunglasses on at night was top notch.