This is the correct spec.

LETS GET FISHICAL, FISHICAL

Didn't read the story, did you?

Jesus Christ. You'd think that getting traded from either Winnipeg or Buffalo would automatically mean you're getting an upgrade. Apparently not.

If Tyler Myers becomes Zdeno Chara after leaving here I will kill myself.

Lot of under-achieving talent moving in this deal.
Works perfectly for the Sabres too. Get a goal scorer who isn't able to play the rest of the season, thereby helping them Loss for Connor...

Congrats: This now has more stars than the movie had ticket sales.

RIP, pro career of Marcus Mariota.

Maybe I'm just projecting my own loss of enthusiasm at having that hour cut in half. He's just seemed different since he came back. Like he's enjoying it less. I don't think he wants Colbert's victory lap, but it seemed like he envied Colbert for moving on.

You get jokes, do you?

Nice.

The suspected shooter, a 54-year-old man named Mike Montana, was spotted leaving the scene in a white painting company van.

WHOOOOSSHHHH

Did you cum in your cargo shorts when you thought of this killer reference? Horrible.

Takes so smoking hot they could easily be confused for gunfire. Perfect alibi.

"Say hello to my little brother."

Just like Deadspin to tear down a guy like Jones. You guys are always looking for the fault in our stars.