My therapist seemed like a really nice lady until I realized she had several copies of The Secret on her shelf. We had to break up.

Having not read it, doesn’t it basically take “The Power of Positive Thinking” and stretch it over several hundred pages?

They know actresses over 35! Meryl Streep! And...uh...Kate Winslet, but she might be too pudgy to make anyone believe a 23yo would fall in love with her. (/s)

I was absolutely delighted to find out the woman of the story was 53, and not the man of the story

What was your job that having a male stripper was even remotely appropriate and not an invitation for a host of legal troubles???

TBTB would immediately make the guy 53. Can’t have an older woman getting her groove on. They don’t even know any actresses over 35 anyway.

Yes, but doesn’t that show that they deserve each other?

And the genders will end up reversed because Hollywood.

This isn’t new, it’s just new technology. Back in the day, I sent a carrier pigeon who ended up getting lost and flying west instead of east, and the result was a beautiful, long, sustained pigeon-exchange. We celebrated our seventeenth anniversary in August.

Ughhhhhhh they bonded over The Secret? I hate them so much. I’m not even normally that judgy but that book is THE WORST and it’s garbage hippie prosperity gospel for garbage thinkers.

Oh yes. Part of the reason why so many African Americans moved from the South to the North in the Great Migration was not just ‘better opportunities’ working in the Northern factories; but to escape the everyday evil that was living in the South (just as refugees from Syria are trying to escape the evil that has made…

All this. This was allowed to happen because of the average American’s insane need to protect capitalism/corporate-interests at all costs.

My Rolls-Royce boycott is currently at 17 years and counting. I remain passionately opposed to their “No Free Cars” policy.

“After Protests...”

if I could afford to shop at whole foods I would boycott whole foods.

TBH, my first thought reading that headline was, “Wait, we’ve got people in jail who can actually create fish? Since fucking when did Azkaban have a prison labor program? Also I thought food-magic was limited to, like, doing stuff with it, and that you couldn’t just create food out of thin air, and...”

OMG yes. “What are your diet/workout habits? How do you stay in shape? Do you have a stylist? Who are you wearing? Is it hard to do your job when your man-feelings get too strong?”

Yes, you read that correctly. She chose some of our smaller cousins and “suggested” the rest of us diet. We were trussed up like holiday hams under our bridesmaids dresses just to get them to fit.

....wait but like

She is definitely someone’s mistress who showed up uninvited with a British accent.