Don’t bring trolls out of the grey, please.

Cutting government funding means Planned Parenthood won’t actually be there.

Fuck these people. The psychological warfare they wage against LGBTQ youth is truly sickening. These people have blood on their hands. They should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

“I refused to have an abortion and the only assistance the GOP-controlled government was willing to give me was this lousy t-shirt.”

Gummi Bears are fucking delicious.

Yes but, the Welch’s and Annie’s fruit snacks are delicious.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’m annoyed that Jia soft-balled this interview. Where are the hard-hitting questions?? What does he think of the horse-drawn carriages in central park? What about policies to preserve wild horses herds?

YAAAAAAS. Run a comb through that shit. Buy shampoo and conditioner. Then use it. You don’t have to go full glamazon, gents. Just make sure it’s clean.

The Croydon Facelift!

Bad news for . . . the people who love them

Right? BUDDY I AM IN AWE OF YOU BUT I’M TRYING TO GIVE YOU SPACE YOU’RE A WILD ANIMAL.
I sat on a rock at a beach and a sea turtle swam up and settled down for a nap right next to me and I felt like a goddamn mermaid. And not once did it occur to me that I should try riding it. I mean, I took a picture because duh…

Idiot. Leave goddamn endangered animals alone. I was diving once and got caught in a shorebreak and a sea turtle kind of tumbled over me and I was like “OH SHIT I JUST BROKE FEDERAL LAW BY ACCIDENT I DIDN’T MEAN IT I SWEAR” and felt genuinely bad about it.

Thank you!!!!!!!
-Signed, a woman who didn’t have a hymen to begin with, or it was torn when I was running around having an active childhood

Or like walking on those metal bars in the playground because you’re a dumb kid and then falling on it with your hoo-haa. That was fun...

I want some brave woman to date one of these guys, put a bit of bacon up there, and when it falls out during sex, tell them that that’s what a hymen looks like. “Oh, yeah, it’s supposed to smell hickory-smoked, that’s how you can tell I’m a for-real virgin”

YOU FORGOT ANDRE LEON TALLEY CLOCKING COOKIE’S LAST SEASON COUTURE!

I had no idea MRA existed until today. I wish I could back to yesterday now...

#GoodThingIWantASapphireYouDickwad

Uh hum, it’s cachet, not your fancy incorrect version, acute accent and all.

I mean, replace that Humira with some old fashioned sausage gravy and you should be fine, according to MY MOTHER.