No. You are *so* wrong about this that there are not enough ‘no’’s in existence to convey how wrong you are. No one owes you a gift. It’s a gift.

Good Lord, these people sound like a bunch of animals. Making grandma cry is one of those things that puts you closer to the front of the line into Hell.

I’m from the East Coast, lived in NJ the first 31 years of my life. I never heard of anyone doing this. Ever. Among the people I knew, that would be tacky as hell, on the same level as having a cash bar at your wedding, which you just don’t do.

Edited because I didn’t read far enough.

“One 24-year-old woman told me that her boyfriend broke up with her because ‘he told me that I wasn’t girlfriend material because I had been with 10 guys,”

I’m glad you said it. I’ve been struggling with this. When I see a picture of her or read something she said...I feel like, won’t someone just strangle her already and end this? And then I feel like a terrible person.

Oh! I’m glad you told me this—I’ll tell my rheumatologist right away and we can stop the Humira, methotrexate and prednisone.

Yay! I hope they go out of business.

It’s not from a movie, it’s from an Eddie Murphy stand up bit.

What’s wrong with that? I don’t see anything wrong here.

It’s the biscuits, you can’t blame me, it was all for the biscuits.

Jeez dude, where do you live? Because if *all* the women you’re trying to date are as you described, damn, maybe you need to move.

Fascinating. That number—135—is so specific. How did you come to the conclusion that you could not have sex with someone who weighed over that number? Because that’s awfully specific, and it’s kind of curious—especially since you don’t mention height.

What if it’s under the seat in front of you? Okay or not okay?

I assumed she was killed, and thought now this, *this* is a martyr. Suicide bombers who see themselves as such? Nah, this is the real thing.

Someone should tell her about that new surgery they have, the c-section.

“not having any idea you literally can’t find a photographer that doesn’t make you look like someone who got pregnant at the age of 17 for less than $3500.”

Jesus Christ, fire this bitch already. What the hell is this? She’s shown up at work repeatedly and *refused to perform the duties associated with her position.* In what other job could you do this and not get fired?

I’m beginning to suspect you wanting to sleep with other women wasn’t the only reason your girlfriend left. You are a truly unpleasant and ugly (on the inside) person. May you find a girlfriend who is more like you. As for your ex, bully for her that she got away from you.

Do you understand *why* everyone is saying that? He’s basically decided that the terms of their relationship are going to change—but without her knowledge or consent. It’s a sleazy, low down way to behave.