I refer to our house as the "Lastname Cat Ranch", so it just seemed to make sense. Right now, the orange one is curled up behind my chair, SNORING. BUMZ.

Same here - I used to do the super baggy shirt thing because I was self-conscious about, well, everything. But I finally got around to the point of "fuck it" and realized less fabric made moving easier. That's why I like the undershirts - stretchy, fitted, etc. I've recently branched out into actual, real tank tops…

It doesn't matter what I wear, I will NEVER look good while working out. I sweat like a giant sweaty, sweating sweatbeast, turn beet red and puffy, and generally look like total HELL when I work out. I don't think a cute outfit will do anything to fix that. In fact, in a weird way, I think a cute outfit might make…

You're obviously not a real plus size woman. I bet you're really a super skinny, turn-sideways-and-you-lose-him guy, just pretending to be a big woman so people will be nice to you on the internet, aren't you? If you were REALLY plus sized, you'd be all sensitive and shit. I'm on to you, Mister.

"Cutest toddler in the world" video on Gawker - cute, but...meh.

Then we are weird together, my odd friend.

Oh, how I wish I had the education and talent (and patience) to work through and write up all the symbolism there, with the egg and the big, hard traffic cone propping it up. Quick! Fetch me a grad student!

Back in the day, scientists used the slut slide rule to make the conversions.

Take it out Drag Race style.

"..put her in her place." ????? What? I can't.

Nothing relevant to add, but "Douche L. Baggins" made me clap my hands and giggle like a child who has just been handed a lollipop.

"The string" - a long cylindrical entity, ensconced in your vagina - is clearly a stand-in for penis. By shaving off all of your pubic hair in order to "find the string", you are allowing yourself to fall for the lie that a woman must have a man in her life and the only way to get one is by conforming to the fascist…

Where did that "virgins shouldn't use tampons" thing come from anyway? I got my first period while living with my dad and stepmother (just the tip of the iceberg that was THAT crap-ass year) and my stepmother told me I was "too young" for tampons. A year later, when I moved to Texas to live with my mom, she was all…

I was all smug when I came up with "lady plugs" the other day. Clearly, I did not give that enough thought. From now on, vaginally absorbed power pills it is.

Here, I'll write it for you:

I wish I could be that smooth, but I have big ol' touch issues. Which means if somebody I don't know tries to touch me, I end up doing a whole body flinchflailflop thing. Sometimes it's accompanied by a super-suave "HEY WHOA, WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING ME??" Don't get me wrong - it's effective, but not even remotely cool.

I love that octopus.

And how I can join??

YES! Also, I think I've found my exit move for meetings from now on.

I've always wanted a reason to wear a tutu to work. Knee length = work appropriate, right?