I can make (and consume) some bad ass brownies all on my own, but it's difficult to do the 'Mish all by yourself.

ARG - I can't get in to delete the double post.

They also avoid all TV - and OK, there's a lot of crap on TV and some of us (ME) watch entirely too much of it. But none of my incomes comes from TV.

They also avoid all TV - and OK, there's a lot of crap on TV and some of us (ME) watch entirely too much of it. But none of my incomes comes from TV.

I've had dreams where my husband is a weird amalgamation of himself and my ex. Which..NO...thank you, no.

Jerkwad madlibs! YES!

I'm sorry, but if you couldn't think ahead enough to plan for this sort of thing, how do we know you can really be trusted to make your own medical decisions?? *shakes head sadly*

They can have mine too - I'm not planning on using it again. Hey! Matching vases for the mantel in the clubhouse!!

"Hey, hey, hey - why did that other puppy bonk me in the head? I just wanna play!"

One can only hope Gary went on to more lucrative photography opportunities, and was finally able to buy some buttons.

Gotcha. Yeah, my hands like to do that when I'm holding something breakable. Everything's fine, it's all good, oh look, now we only have 3 dinner plates. Get the broom.

I'll celebrate your birthday with some quality AMC programming, a bottle of wine and, in honor of your username, a batch of homemade snickerdoodles.

PhiPhi could benefit from 2 pieces of advice I received when I was around her age.

I was going to make the tired glitter=herpes joke, but then I clued in on "craft accident." All of my craft accidents are feline-induced. You?

I've been told that if you get drunk on Goldschlager, your puke glitters. Something to keep in mind for the future.

HA!! Awesome. Thank you.

To use the other analogy I've heard - "Are you sure you were mugged? Do you know what that means? I think maybe you gave your friend some money and then realized you can't afford it. Or maybe you regretted it a few minutes later. Why don't you think about what really happened and get back to us?"

My reaction to "my dog is on the roof, my dog is on the roof" will probably get my flagged for a random.

Don't go getting on Ms. Latrice's bad side, y'all.

Yes, but nobody works with them unless they get undressed. Poor, objectified bananas.