Ryan and McConnell are both in too deep to pull out now.

The clue is in his name: Jeff Beauregard Sessions. As I’ve said here before, he’s a slave plantation come to life, as his past proves. He’s doing this to lock up as many people of color as possible before his trial and execution for treason.

As a very active President with lots of things happening, it is not possible for my surrogates to stand at podium with perfect accuracy!....

On the bright side, Trump hasn’t wasted any time naming Comey’s successor.

It looks like Trump’s own EKG

Wow, Patti sure LaPOWNED Madonna!

Trump: I would make a tremendous ghost, believe me. This Mary? You have to say her name three times, folks. She only cares about herself. I saw her, she was bleeding everywhere, from her mouth, her ears, from her wherever.

lol

Comey needs to sing. Comey needs to go full em’effin Pavarotti.

Yet another guy takes to the Internet and crusades against feminism because he got dumped.

How is the house decorated? You should have had shutters, not curtains. That’s like asking to be robbed. 

Grab ‘em by the porch.  

“Honey if you didn’t want your car stolen then why were you driving it at night? Are you sure you didn’t just loan it to the guy and then when you wanted to go to Taco Bell you regretted it?”

As a man, I look askance at any man who is that obsessed with “false” rape accusations.

Oh man, I seriously hope someone robs that dude’s house and police officer is like “hey, you should be grateful someone thinks your stuff is nice enough to steal. Let’s leave it at that sweetcheeks.”

Yes thank you. That is one of the most underrated movies of the 90s. AMBER ATKINS 4LYYYYFE

My cousin knew a kid who smoked too much pots and tried to microwave his baby because it had bugs all over it. True story. Then he OD’d.

The circular logic by Trump and his doofus minions is just mind-blowing: