I would honestly prefer that his extinguishing event happen on live television (perhaps the State of the Union?) because I honestly feel like we deserve to witness it.

If you had millions of loans tied to Russian banks run by Putin, and had been laundering money for him and his gang for decades in order to secure those loans, and if your election to POTUS was due to Putin tampering with the US election and having our voting machines hacked, you’d be puckering up too.

Meanwhile, there are huge protests happening throughout the city right now. So big, in fact, that the Independent is reporting Melania Trump is trapped in her hotel room (or, Senate guest house room)

This gives me hope that one day, Barron may be a dreadlocked budtender freeganing his way through Tucson and giving long rambling interviews to whoever will buy him a beer.

Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

Oh man. My ex had his issues but I would lay on the sofa or bed and he would finger, massage, give me a whole body rubdown while I watched tv and we both thought it was awesome. He got to ogle and fondle my bits and I got to relax. Maybe I’m just too lazy for sex.

I have it on good authority that if you touch a woman three times on her elbow, poke her left thigh once, then lick her right earlobe, she squirts.

hey, at least he’s not black

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.

It makes Ivanka uncomfortable.

I bet Trump has been doing this handshake his entire adult life. It was probably a life lesson from his father Fred Trump or his other father Roy Cohn about “winning the handshake,” or having a powerful “first move.” He probably grips as hard as he can then he yanks the other party toward himself so that other…

“This sums up the whole of my administration”

To be fair, we all wish that

This is so deliciously good.

This. Is. Hilarious.

I keep my Facebook politics posts a minimum but I was feeling salty this morning. I’ve restisted checking the comments all day but I’m going to donate a dollar to planned parenthood for every negative comment and every person that has unfriended me if any.

“My feet hurt.”

Yep. Donald got out a walked for about a minute, then got back in the limo when he realized what was being televised was all the empty stands he was walking past.

#MakeAmericaGreatByMakingSeanSpicerCollapseInAFitOfFoamingAtTheMouthRage

We knew he would be completely full of shit. But there isn’t even any art to this! To be so BLATANT with the lies is just insane. You don’t even have to use “strategically cropped” photos to tell. The DC Metro was posting comparison numbers between Obama inaugurations, Trump’s sad fail, and today’s amazing March.…